New seasons

I love the changing seasons. In Texas, they come so sporadically and often temporarily! This recent, earlier than usual, explosion of Fall, has kind of snapped me out of what has become my new normal. It has me somewhat nostalgic, and a little (well, maybe even a lot at times) sad! I think it's doing the same things to my children. While decorating the house in our Fall theme, we started speculating about decorating for Christmas. Christmas is our favorite time of year. Caroline asked, "Mom, we ARE going to be with you on Christmas, right?!" I honestly answered, "Baby, I don't know exactly what Christmas is going to look like this year, but no matter what, I'll definitely be with you some of the time on Christmas!" I felt my chin begin to quiver, as I've truly been living moment to moment and have been relying on Christ to give me only what I need for the day! Matthew 6:34 "Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." I honestly had only had fleeting thoughts about the upcoming holiday's and what that would entail. Caroline's question provoked a series of other questions by all 3 of them, leading to moments of near panic when reality sunk in! "Will Dad be here for Santa? Will Dad get us presents? Will Dad be here when we wake up?" etc. Owwww my heart hurts at such times. How very unfair to these innocent babies to have to worry about such things. The very core of what they know has been so terribly disrupted. It's unnatural, and so not according to God's plan, that it's no wonder it feels like it's literally ripping me apart at the seams at times. Thanksgiving this year with family is going to be at our house. This is always such a sweet time with family. George has always "seemed" (I say this because a lot of what seemed to be was apparently not) to love our family's get togethers, even having certain special items family member's knew he would request! It hurts my heart to know that we will be sharing this special time this year as a family of 4, not 5! And quickly approaching thereafter, is my very favorite time of the year, Christmas. For the past 12 years, we have known what to expect for Christmas. We have our little traditions and rituals. It is a little more than concerning to think of how this will change this year. While my ultimate goal is to keep everything as normal for the kids as possible, I know that things will most definitely be different and that will directly affect them! In saying all of this, the amazing thing is that although it hurts my heart to think of such things, and yes I've shed a few tears in writing this, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that my Savior will valiantly lead me through this next section of this path I am traveling! He has been so sweet to constantly show himself to me throughout the past 8 months (that's so hard to believe)! At my lowest times, He has plopped Himself right in my midst by sending an unexpected message from a friend, a precious book of His word dropped off at my door, bringing me a new friend, through Bible study lessons that pertained directly to what I've been dealing with, sermons at church which left me speechless, as things were said that were obviously specifically for little ol' me, and many more! In so many ways that I can't even express, He has shown His mighty, powerful, omnipotent hands "holding me in his palms" (as a friend so sweetly has prayed for us for many months)! One such occasion happened recently, when I received an email from an acquaintance, who has also gone through such trials. She quoted a scripture that she clung to during her whole ordeal and I'm so clinging to it now! Isaiah 26:3 "I will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Me because he trusts in Me." As I face the changing seasons, in my personal life and in nature, I know that I trust Him, so am fully expecting to find "perfect peace" as I face the upcoming, uncertain days! Have a blessed Sunday!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-dwpdZdvCl8