26.2 miles

I've always been intrigued by marathons. I mean, it is impossible for me to wrap my brain around the idea of running 26.2 miles! I once had grandiose ideas of someday completing one of these monster races, but have since marked it off my bucket list due to my knees. Having said that, I am in no way less fascinated by the idea! I have literally gone through the race in my mind, wondering at which point during those gruesome 26.2 miles I'd hit the wall-emotionally and/or physically. I can imagine that in training for a marathon, your body would gradually become accustomed to the physical idea of pounding the pavement step after step after step. The emotional exhaustion is what I believe would put you over the edge both mentally and physically. Having said that, I can relate what I have been going through to running a marathon. I feel like I've been pounding the pavement for about 23 miles now, and I'm spent. My legs are cramping, I'm dehydrated, my feet are covered in weeping blisters, my chest burns for a deep breath, and I don't feel like I can finish at this point! The finish line is still 3.2 miles away, so it's out of sight. I just want to quit. After all, It's unbelievable to run 23 miles! At the beginning of the race, I never imagined I'd make it this far! I'm thinking I might have come out running too fast, too early on. For those of you who've never competed in racing, when you come out too fast, are not well trained for the event, etc., there's a point during the race when your body has had enough. The lactic acid builds up in your legs and makes them feel like lead weights. All you want at that point is for the race to be over. In the sheer pain and frustration, you couldn't care less what place you get. You just want it to be over! Below is a little segment from a blog entitled "The worst day of my life":

"People talk about the wall but until you hit it you have no idea. Chris Boardman sums it up well, 'Towards the last three or four miles I just couldn't care less. I just wanted somebody to shoot me but since they wouldn't I had to keep going,'
From 21 miles I could have cried every time someone called my name, after the finish I could have sworn at every spectator getting in my way. Exhaustion does that to you."

I painfully get this! I'd like for someone to get me out of my misery right now also. But there's always been this part of me that won't allow me to quit! I've often hated it, since it has lead to unnecessary injuries and pain. I'm extremely stubborn and despise losing in a way that few people understand or even care to! My competitive drive has caused me more problems than not, but it is who I am. I have to finish strong and deal with the injuries later. For today, my pace is ultra slow. I'm going to have to limp along until I can find the strength to speed up again. I don't know when that might happen-maybe when the finish line is in full view, maybe not until after the race is finished and my body has time to heal itself! For now, one foot in front of the other...

RUNNER-Twila Paris

Courier valiant, bearing the flame
Messenger noble, sent in His name
Faster and harder, run through the night
Desperate relay, carry the light
Carry the light

Runner when the road is long
Feel like giving in but you're hanging on
Oh runner, when the race is won
You will run into his arms

Obstacle ancient, chilling the way
Enemy wakened, stoking the fray
Still be determined, fearless and true
Lift high the standard, carry it through
Carry it through

Mindful of many waiting to run
Destined to finish what you've begun
Millions before you cheering you on
Godspeed dear runner, carry it home
Carry it home